Undeath and You: I fight you, I beat you, I eat you!

In a time long ago (better part of a decade), in a kingdom far, far away (rural west Michigan), I was part of a group of friends that gathered in a basement or a living room (depending on whose parents were housing us that night) playing Dungeons and Dragons (2nd Edition). Our main campaign lasted years, crossing through Forgotten Realms, Ravenloft, and Planescape, but always returning to the Dungeon Master’s homemade world that became our fantasy home. This campaign lasted through high school and well into college; though we would dabble with other campaigns as alts, we always returned to the main campaign.

As with most D&D groups, there were certain archetypes present in the group – we had a big dumb warrior type, a backstabbing rogue (literally and figuratively), a paladin, a cleric, and the evil mage/thief (hi!). My main character was an evil wizard-type who also took a couple levels in thief to make him that much sneakier. The paladin in our group was firmly convinced that my character was only trying to increase his own power, and would sacrifice his friends to achieve those ends. The paladin ended up dying from natural causes; being incinerated by a “poorly aimed” fireball quite naturally causes death. Ah, memories.

Where was I? Oh. Right. For the purposes of our battle board, we used M&Ms to represent the various beasties: plain M&Ms represented humanoid monsters, while peanut M&Ms represented larger beasties. Our house rule was that the person that got the killing blow on a beastie got to eat the M&M that represented said beastie. That policy turned into the post-killing blow-chant of “I fight you, I beat you, I eat you!”

Several years later, I’m playing WoW, and whenever I use cannibalize on The Warlock, I chant that to myself. “I fight you, I beat you, I eat you!”

*nomnomnom*

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